back home Tips on Picking Up Chicks

OK, well the truth is that in Australia, there are 22,000 less guys than girls (between 25yrs and 44). The odds are even better for us men when you consider there are probably more gay men than women - although groups of girls are now commonly seen hugging and kissing each other in trendy bars. The problem is, that in general, the girls are more educated and are lead to believe they should be 'shopping up' for a man (slightly older and even more educated) rather than going out with a yobbo (supposedly shopping down). Once they realise there is no-one up there (apart from almighty) women will start flooding to the everyday aussie yobbo. Throw in a bit more propaganda from the authorities about us all needing to breed more, and the floodgates will open. So c'mon lads, remain positive as the odds are in your favour. Don't wear the checked shirt and thongs with socks this Saturday night. Put the good stuff on. Make 'em think they're 'shopping up' for the night. We don't wannem all to be saying to each other "Les bi friends". Save them from themselves - today !!!!!!!

Pick Up Lines
If you were a tree I'd love to be your root.
Nice legs, I wonder what time they open!
If I told you you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?
See my friend over there? He wants to know if you think I'm cute.
I wasnt sure if you were a beautiful angel or a sexy devil, but now that I'm closer I see heaven in your eyes.
If you and I were Squirrels, I'd store my nuts in your hole.
So what haven't you been told tonight?
Are you new in town? cause I could give you directions to my place.
Do you work for Australia Post? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.
What's a sexy woman like you doing in a dirty mind like mine
You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.
(You could just be normal and say "hello" or "Whats your name?")
 
my mrs and me
A test was recently done in 'Marie Claire' magazine whereby text about a female journo in her late 20s was put on dating sites, with six different photos of herself. The girl with the most hits was of course the 'cute little thing'' - lacy pink top, teddy bear and helpless, fragile girlie expressions. Followed were of course 'girl next door' and 'vampy'. - BUT - professional girl in suit, hair pulled back and glasses - who was probably also intelligent, got no votes. Now don't judge this suit by its cover. What's more there are probably less blokes chasin after her. This could be your opportunity to lead the way towards uncovering a treasure.
A real vein of gold is to try and work out where chicks congregate in groups. One such location is doing a short course like at the Council for Adult Education. But make sure you choose the right course. Try 'Acting for Film & TV' for an outgoing type. Or how about 'Foot Reflexology' There'd have to be chicks doing that.
  On average, a man will only speak 2000 words over the course of a day while a woman will speak 7000 words in the same amount of time. So if you are at dinner and find YOUare doing all the talking about all YOUR boring stuff, then just shut up and start listening to her boring stuff. One question is all it takes to trigger it off. Try something like, "So where did you buy that great outfit ?"
It takes 1 hour for a women to determine whether or not she wants to see a man again. A man only takes 15 minutes. This is a real advantage to us blokes because we can find out the future at afternoon tea whereas a girl needs an entire lunch. If ya feel pretty confident she likes ya, make sure you hang around for a good hour though.
give up - its all over if ya tied the knot
A mate of ours flies a plane for Virgin and we can tell ya he ain't one. It seems the chicks are infatuated with the fact a man can be contolling such a large machine. Apparently bus drivers, truck drivers and other large machinary operators are also doing quite well. However, keep in mind your body needs to be in reasonable shape, dress professionally, and above all, keep the large machine clean and operate the latest and largest model available. Make out its not that easy, and walk away from the vehicle, moving your arms side to side, swaying your bottom.
Chicks from work are often a vein of gold, but do have an inherent risk of becoming a hazard to the job. Therefore the best time to cut one from the herd is when she has announced she's leaving and organises drinks after work. Not only is she bound to be a bit tipsy, she is also emotionally charged from the change in job, and undoubtably will need a lift home.  
The Perfect Woman On average, a 27 year old person will have 11 single friends. This is a good age to hone in on, as even if you do not want to go out with that 27 year old family friend, there are some nice gazelles hanging around the pack. Is just a matter of you getting one away from the herd and then convincin her what a charmin lad yer are.
"How's my eyes as well"

 

WARNING

Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties and local pubs to
be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink from any woman.

Many females use a date rape drug on the market called "Beer" to target
unsuspecting men. The drug is generally found in liquid form and is now
available almost anywhere. It comes in bottles, in cans, from taps, and in large "kegs."
Beer is used by female sexual predators at parties and bars to persuade
their male victims to go home and have sex with them.

Typically, a woman needs only to persuade a guy to consume a few units
of Beer and then simply ask him home for no-strings-attached sex. Men
are rendered helpless against this approach. After drinking Beer, men
often awaken with only hazy memories of exactly what happened to them
the night before, often with just a vague feeling that "something bad" occurred.

At other times these unfortunate men are swindled out of their life
savings, in a familiar scam nown as "A Relationship." It has been
reported that in extreme cases, the female may even be shrewd enough to
entrap the unsuspecting male into a longer-term form of servitude and
punishment referred to as "Marriage." Apparently, men are much more
susceptible to this scam after Beer is administered and sex is offered by the predatory females.

Please forward this warning to every male you know. (And women with a
sense of humor!) If you fall victim to this insidious Beer and the
predatory women administering it, there are male support groups with
venues in every town where you can discuss the details of your shocking
encounter in an open and frank manner with similarly affected, like-minded guys.

For the support group nearest you, just look up "Golf Courses" in the yellow pages.

 
back home
warning - hazardous chicks